Okay, so have you ever found yourself "caught" in a conversation where you begin to notice that every word coming from your mouth is foreign? - Like you can hear yourself speaking in a manner that completely contradicts what your heart believes about a subject? Did that make sense?
For instance, tonight I was talking with a couple of friends about relationships because somehow, some way, conversation amongst a group of singles never fails to take this route. Or maybe that is just in my world? Anyway, tonight we were talking about who is seeing who and who is NOT interested in who, and so forth... and all of a sudden I start chiming in with comments that put my heart in a very vulnerable position. I start talking about my insecurities, my faults, my worries, my anxieties until I'm drowning in a pool of self pity for myself. Suddenly, I'm too old, too fat and too independent... I picture myself wrinkly, gray and lonely rocking on a chair somewhere on this random porch in the middle of nowhere! What on earth?! I'm 22! I'm not fat! And I've been fortunate enough to see a bit of this world, so what?! It is amazing how one thought can throw you into a spiral of negativity and doubt! Meanwhile, if these same couple of friends could hear what is really in my heart... this conversation would have been completely different!
Because honestly, I know that I know that God has an amazing man for me... somewhere out there... I know that patience perfects, that love should not be awakened before its time, and that waiting upon the Lord and His timing is an absolute honor! Life is fleeting and I, of all people, believe strongly in ceasing the moment and embracing the season God has strategically placed you in - to appreciate the now!
More than ever, I want to hold myself accountable for the words that depart my lips. I want everything that comes out of my mouth to be edifying, true, and hopeful. God is faithful, His word will not return void and He knows the desires of my heart. So I think it is time for my conversation to reflect such things...
Love will surely find its way into my world but for now... why not align my speech with words of truth, integrity and faith!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A Dream Book Entry
If we started at the beginning, traveled back and reminisced on the times gone past, these pages would be bursting with laughs and tears, chai teas and chocolate, Bibles and journals, tulips and roses, songs and dances, nations and places, encounters and revelations, And the bindings would be satiated with endless entries – never able to capture the reality of such a divine friendship. Words written would struggle to express the mandate, the vision, the dreams, and the purpose resting within the hearts represented. Faith’s stain would be found on each page and love, the ink birthing every thought and desire. But these pages are not meant for looking behind – But forward only. “For such a time as this,” is the reason to soar. Knowing your “hope will not be put to shame” and promises fulfilled will be found with the turn of a single page.
Awestruck
Okay, so have you ever been so in AWE of God that you can't even contain it??
... That's me... Right now...
... That's me... Right now...
My Heart on Paper
As of the year 2008, the world’s population has reached over six billion. This figure equals six billion intricately woven lives, conceived in the mind of God, chosen before time, and born for His specific purposes. Not one life was an accident and not one was made without reason. Not one, therefore, should leave this earth without fulfilling his or her God- given destiny.
I am one of these six billion. I am a New Yorker who is well- acquainted with outstanding pressures, impressive achievements, and prestigious resumes. In my world, success is defined by six- figure salaries, sports cars and designer jeans and yet, the truth uncovers a significantly different reality. Spiritual eyes reveal veiled lives of hopelessness, shrouded hearts abandoned and broken, lifeless remnants of dreams, and a forgotten meaning of true happiness.
As I am asked the question, how do I want to change this world? I struggle to craft words that would capture the core of a dream often pondered behind closed doors. I have now realized, however, that it is time to speak. God is beckoning His children to shake off the dust, stand tall and dignified, and address the injustices that threaten to pollute His world. It is my desire that through these words, the heartbeat of heaven will resound…
“I see a city once lost and broken becoming intimately reacquainted with their Savior and Maker. I see defeat being replaced with awestruck wonder. I see a sweet fragrance of hope and life released as dreams pour back into the hearts of God’s people. I see a generation rising from the ashes and running in the fullness of their God- given potential.”
I see homes being built globally for the bruised and battered, worldwide refuges of freedom. These networks of homes, or dream centers, will be found in all major cities, an organization founded upon belief and hope. Faith’s stain will be on each doorpost and love will replace old insecurities and haunting pasts. Victory shouts will be heard throughout the nations of a people who have learned how to laugh, how to stand and how to finally dream again!
How do I plan to achieve my goal? I have already started, I have sought God first. In 2006, a divine encounter arrested my heart, halted my selfish ambitions and through obedience, sent me to Sydney, Australia. It was there that I learned the importance of a solitary life. Zoe taught me. Nothing compares to the journey of unveiling a beautiful, faithful God to a woman who only knows life’s cruelty. Week after week, I witnessed Zoe’s eyes opening wider with amazement, her heart awakening to His mysterious love and divine healing cleansing her body. God sought her and in the process engraved the divine assignment (shared above) upon the deepest tablets of my heart.
Imagine if there were a home where people like Zoe could entrust their infant dreams into the hands of a people who believed in her. Imagine a network of ordinary individuals – professionals, stay at home moms, creative minds, scholars, grandfathers etc., decided to trade in their “nine to five” lives to practically outwork the dreams lying dormant in the corners of their hearts. Imagine if linked hands stretched across nations of those who have discovered the true happiness of a fulfilled dream. Imagine if there were a world of passion, previously bound by fear or comfort, realizing it has something to offer. Imagine the lost and forgotten swept up in a movement of dreams unlocked, belief restored, and purpose rediscovered.
I have realized the mandate, I am responding to the call. There is a generation waiting anxiously on the other side of my obedience. I pray, that you, the perusing eye, would only discover the heart of an ever- faithful God – A Father looking, longing, and spurring His children to bring love and justice to the world He loves so dearly.
I am one of these six billion. I am a New Yorker who is well- acquainted with outstanding pressures, impressive achievements, and prestigious resumes. In my world, success is defined by six- figure salaries, sports cars and designer jeans and yet, the truth uncovers a significantly different reality. Spiritual eyes reveal veiled lives of hopelessness, shrouded hearts abandoned and broken, lifeless remnants of dreams, and a forgotten meaning of true happiness.
As I am asked the question, how do I want to change this world? I struggle to craft words that would capture the core of a dream often pondered behind closed doors. I have now realized, however, that it is time to speak. God is beckoning His children to shake off the dust, stand tall and dignified, and address the injustices that threaten to pollute His world. It is my desire that through these words, the heartbeat of heaven will resound…
“I see a city once lost and broken becoming intimately reacquainted with their Savior and Maker. I see defeat being replaced with awestruck wonder. I see a sweet fragrance of hope and life released as dreams pour back into the hearts of God’s people. I see a generation rising from the ashes and running in the fullness of their God- given potential.”
I see homes being built globally for the bruised and battered, worldwide refuges of freedom. These networks of homes, or dream centers, will be found in all major cities, an organization founded upon belief and hope. Faith’s stain will be on each doorpost and love will replace old insecurities and haunting pasts. Victory shouts will be heard throughout the nations of a people who have learned how to laugh, how to stand and how to finally dream again!
How do I plan to achieve my goal? I have already started, I have sought God first. In 2006, a divine encounter arrested my heart, halted my selfish ambitions and through obedience, sent me to Sydney, Australia. It was there that I learned the importance of a solitary life. Zoe taught me. Nothing compares to the journey of unveiling a beautiful, faithful God to a woman who only knows life’s cruelty. Week after week, I witnessed Zoe’s eyes opening wider with amazement, her heart awakening to His mysterious love and divine healing cleansing her body. God sought her and in the process engraved the divine assignment (shared above) upon the deepest tablets of my heart.
Imagine if there were a home where people like Zoe could entrust their infant dreams into the hands of a people who believed in her. Imagine a network of ordinary individuals – professionals, stay at home moms, creative minds, scholars, grandfathers etc., decided to trade in their “nine to five” lives to practically outwork the dreams lying dormant in the corners of their hearts. Imagine if linked hands stretched across nations of those who have discovered the true happiness of a fulfilled dream. Imagine if there were a world of passion, previously bound by fear or comfort, realizing it has something to offer. Imagine the lost and forgotten swept up in a movement of dreams unlocked, belief restored, and purpose rediscovered.
I have realized the mandate, I am responding to the call. There is a generation waiting anxiously on the other side of my obedience. I pray, that you, the perusing eye, would only discover the heart of an ever- faithful God – A Father looking, longing, and spurring His children to bring love and justice to the world He loves so dearly.
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